Sometimes the long days of summer stretch out and are too long. During one of those long summer afternoons, I agreed to let Emmy give me a facial. One of her favorite books is Fancy Nancy: Ooh La La! It’s Beauty Day! In the book, Nancy gives her not-so-fancy mom a spa day for her birthday. Included in the book is a recipe for a banana honey facial.
So we mashed up the banana and mixed in some honey, and Voila! We had a facial! Nancy’s mom reclined on a lounge chair outside, but I chose to lie down on the kitchen floor with a towel under my head. Lily placed two cucumber slices on my eyes, and then the girls gooped the banana mask on my face a little too eagerly. Gobs of banana dripped down my cheeks toward my ears. I was supposed to leave the mask on for ten minutes.
I held out for six loooong minutes.
When I got up, I had banana in my hair and in my ears. Fortunately, I had already planned on taking a shower after my facial. Unfortunately, the shower did not rinse the banana out of my right ear.
Then I did a very bad thing.
I used a Q-tip.
As I was twirling the Q-tip in my ear, I felt the banana go further into my ear. And then, I couldn’t hear very well. My ear was so completely clogged that I was like Ernie from Sesame Street when he had an actual banana in his ear. Unlike Ernie, my clogged ear was driving me completely batty!
I tried putting a little rubbing alcohol in my ear, which helps to get water out after swimming. No luck.
I tried a little hydrogen peroxide, and could hear the fizzing behind the banana for at least half an hour. It did nothing.
I bought an ear syringe to try to wash the banana out. Nope. Wasn’t gonna budge the banana.
The next day, I finally caved in and made an appointment at a Walgreen’s clinic. And when I got there, I told the truth.
My daughters gave me a facial and I think I have some banana in my ear.
Boy, did I feel silly.
The nurse practitioner had the right tool, however, and she pumped and pumped and pumped water into my ear until I felt dizzy. Out fell a blob (which did not look like banana, but I knew it was) and the relief was so immediate I just about cried. The nurse suggested that next time I should put some cotton in my ears.
Ha. There won’t be a next time.
P.S. Wait! Don’t stop reading yet! I know you’re wondering about how the banana face mask worked. It actually made my skin feel very soft, and I may use it again…without my assistants’ help.