Sometimes I’ll be on my laptop surfing the web and something will crash. The prompt “Refresh your browser” will pop up. And so I click the little circle arrow to refresh the browser and voila! The problem is fixed!
If only refreshing my life was that easy.
Some days, I’m just tired. Tired of getting up in the morning, tired of packing lunches for the girls, tired of laundry, dishes, cooking dinner…just tired.
I look at the moms of my children’s friends, and they just seem so young. Younger than me, an old mom who has yet another birthday coming up next month. I’ll be exactly between 40 and 50. This older mom thing is tiring. I wish I had the energy I had in my 20’s to raise my children today.
Just yesterday, I read another blog post about another woman who had breast cancer scare so she’s so relieved she doesn’t have cancer. She decided not to take life for granted and live life to the fullest, blah, blah, blah…. I’m sorry I’m being so cynical. Every time I read a post like this (and I’ve read far too many) I wish that I could have written it.
I need a refresh button.
This spring, it will be 18 years since I was first diagnosed. I’m tired of counting the years, tired of wondering if the cancer will come back. My mom’s cancer returned after 20 years. Shouldn’t I be grateful for every new day? Of course I am. Do I take life for granted? Of course I do. I yell at my kids, I get irritated at my husband, and I get sick of making yet another meal.
Cancer didn’t make me any different from you.
For last week’s Spin Cycle, Janice chose “refresh” for her word of the year, and it seems like a perfect word for the beginning of a new year. She describes in her writing how weary she feels, and as I was reading her post, I felt weary, too. But then she wrote a wonderful poem to go along with her word, refresh. As I read Janice’s poem, I began to feel refreshed and ready for a New Year.
Unlike this laptop I’m typing on right now, I have more than one refresh button.
When I read inspiring blog posts like yours, (yes, I mean you) I feel refreshed. If you don’t think your blog post is inspiring, to me it is.
Opening the curtains every morning as I sip my cup of coffee is refreshing.
Going outside, even in the middle of this long winter, is refreshing.
Reading my Bible, teaching Sunday school, singing in the choir; refresh.
And of course, kissing my daughters’ sweet cheeks instantly refreshes my spirit.
What refreshes your spirit?
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